Living The Life You Want

The Most Appealing Quality

I was at a travel industry dinner this week, doing the usual mingling and small talk when I found myself in a group of young professionals.  At one point in the conversation, a woman I'm guessing is in her mid-20s just gushed, "I absolutely love my job!"  She's bright, intelligent and actually understated for the most part, but what was most appealing (and what set her apart from her colleagues) was her obvious enthusiasm for what she does.

As a result of the path I've chosen, my interests and my desire to remain open to new ideas, I have a wide range of friends: corporate executives, politicians, musicians, Hollywood producers and screenwriters, stock brokers, journalists, travel industry leaders, artists, a 70-year-old palm reader from Kashmir, India, sports fanatics, brothers and sisters, the list goes on. 

Given the personalities involved, I'm not sure if I ever had a get-together for all of them to meet that it would go well.  But I've reflected on why I enjoy them all so much.  The conclusion I came to is, they all have enthusiasm for what they do.  It's contagious.  Their passion for life is energizing and helps make me more excited about my own, just from being in their presence.

Rather than bottling perfumes to help us smell better, what a world we'd have if everyone sprinkled a little Enthusiasm on each day.

Living The Life You Want

Failing and Flying

by Jack Gilbert

Everyone forgets that Icarus also flew.

It's the same when love comes to an end,

or the marriage fails and people say

they knew it was a mistake, that everybody

said it would never work. That she was

old enough to know better. But anything

worth doing is worth doing badly.

Like being there by that summer ocean

on the other side of the island while

love was fading out of her, the stars

burning so extravagantly those nights that

anyone could tell you they would never last.

Every morning she was asleep in my bed

like a visitation, the gentleness in her

like antelope standing in the dawn mist.

Each afternoon I watched her coming back

through the hot stony field after swimming,

the sea light behind her and the huge sky

on the other side of that. Listened to her

while we ate lunch. How can they say

the marriage failed? Like the people who

came back from Provence (when it was Provence)

and said it was pretty but the food was greasy.

I believe Icarus was not failing as he fell,

but just coming to the end of his triumph.

 

Living The Life You Want

Friends Always Get The Benefit of the Doubt

During a recent "Happiness Hour", talk show host Dennis Prager explored the importance of not regularly being offended or hurt by others.  He recounted how he and his lifelong friend are able to easily accept each other's needs in the moment.  And then he summed up an important concept:

"Always give your friends the benefit of the doubt.  Always.  And once you can't any longer give your friend the benefit of the doubt, the person is no longer your friend.

"If you are going to walk around being hurt by a friend, either you are too easily hurt, or the person shouldn't be your friend."

Pretty simple concept.  Ane one that might be a guide to more meaningful relationships.

Living The Life You Want

Planning and Organizing Your Day

I recently participated in a webinar sponsored by Day-Timer to remind myself of better techniques for organizing and planning my days.  Time management consultant Trapper Woods pointed out that very few people take even a few minutes of uninterrupted time each day to prioritize their activities.

"If you do the initial planning, then sorting out priorities during the day won't have to be done under pressure."

-Trapper Woods

The 3-Step Planning Process

Make a daily action list.

Select activities you need to pursue from:

• Yesterday's action list
• Your monthly calendar
• Your catch-all list
• Your goals
• Your voice mail
• Your email

Prioritize your action list.

Arrange the order for accomplishing the activities.

• Always do the highest priorities first, when possible
• Select the best time of day to do the work required
• Choose the most appropriate place to do the work
• Make realistic time estimates
• Group like projects
• Allow time for interruptions
• Decide when you will do the activity

The key is to take 15 to 20 uninterrupted minutes each day to quietly contemplate and plan.  I am not as consistent with this as I want to be, especially on weekends.  But when I do, I go through the day more productive, more mindful and more relaxed.  And I lay my head on my pillow more fulfilled.

Living The Life You Want

 

Up In The Air

"How much did they pay you to give up on your dreams?"

It's the central question in one of the best scenes in Up In The Air, one of this year's movies nominated for an Academy Award for Best Picture. 

Corporate consultant-hatchet man Ryan talks with Bob, whom he's just told is losing his job and Bob's not too happy.  Ryan is suddenly philosophical, reminding this pissed off stranger that he minored in French Culinary Arts and bussed tables at a fine Italian restaurant to support himself in school.  When he got out of college he took a dead-end white collar job that he just lost after years without much success.

"At what point were you going to stop and go back to what made you happy?" Ryan asks.  "I see guys who work for the same company their entire lives.  Clock in.  Clock out.  Never a moment of happiness.  Not everyone gets this kind of opportunity.  The chance for rebirth."

It's a classic call to adventure for Bob.  He's a fictitious character, but I'm sure that scene has sent chills down the spine of many in audiences around the world.  For some, Ryan's remarks may be about a job, for others they may be about unsatisfying relationships, and for still others they may be about a loss of energy and enthusiasm for life in general.   

Early in the conversation, Ryan lets Bob know he's not a shrink, he's "a wakeup call." 

And so he is.  For all of us.

http://petroskey.typepad.com

 

 

Creativity and Art

"Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes.  Art is knowing which ones to keep."

-Scott Adams, author and creator of the Dilbert cartoon

I came across a few more Adams quotes worth sharing:

"One 'oh shit' can erase a thousand 'attaboys.'"

"Normal people ... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.  Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet."

"A good metaphor can make any bad idea sound good."

http://petroskey.typepad.com

 

Collier's Timeless Wisdom

I came across some timeless wisdom from publisher and businessman Robert Collier:

"A hundred years ago, people probably felt that everything had been discovered that could be discovered, that everything was known that was likely ever to be known.  One man quit the Patent Office in Washington back in the 1880's because as he put it -- 'everything had been invented that could be invented.'  Perhaps you feel that way about things now.  Yet look at the tremendous strides mankind has taken in the past 50 years.  And they are as nothing to what the future holds for us, once man has learned to harness the truly unlimited powers of the subconscious mind.

"There are millions of dollars worth of treasure under every square mile of the earth's surface.  There are millions of ways in which this old world of ours can be made a better place to live.  Set your mind to work locating some of this treasure, finding some of those ways.  Don't wait for someone else to blaze the trail."

Collier's observation was included in his book The Secret of the Ages, originally published as The Book of Life -- in 1925.  Highly recommended reading.

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Music's Magic

What do Green Day's Boulevard of Broken Dreams, Del Amitri's Roll To Me and Duncan Sheik's Barely Breathing have in common? 

A few minutes ago they all powered through my home speakers via Pandora Radio, the Internet-based service that lets anyone program their own radio station. 

More significantly, they got me to appreciating what a remarkable gift the world receives from those with the ability to create music.  As the former head of communications for a major music company, it's not the first time I've had this revelation.

But music is so ubiquitous in our lives, it's easy to overlook what our existence would be like without it: no Handel's Messiah, no Pachelbel's Canon in D minor, no Frank Sinatra's version of New York, New York, no Beatles' I Saw Her Standing There, no Black Eyed Peas' I Gotta Feeling.  The crazy thing is, there's a million more songs that have touched all of us in some meaningful way, if only by getting our toes tapping and helping us feel just a little bit lighter.

The infinite number of ways artists compose notes, chords, vary rhythms and find interesting ways to accompany the sound with lyrics leaves me in awe at human ability.  Just as impressive, all of these artists at some point decided what they felt, what they had in their head, what they wanted to express, was worthy of being heard by others. 

Thanks to all of them for risking rejection and allowing the world to discover their gifts.  Every day we are more satisfied in our own lives because of their courage.

What courageous act can you make to help the world be just a little bit better?

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Snow Days

As you probably know, the Washington-area was hit last Friday with a major snowstorm that continued into Saturday.  Since that time, the schools and federal government have been closed, and now we're bracing for what could be up to another foot of snow tonight and tomorrow.  Needless to say, all attempts to stay on a regular schedule have been rendered pointless.

While it's fun to have a week of unexpected "snow days" to play and relax, I've also noticed it's easy to let time slip away.  It's made me keenly aware that our life can't be all about fun and games -- maintaining a sense of purpose matters. 

As I prepare for another few days away from the office, I've got plenty of work with me to move forward while at home.  And mixed in with more play time, I'll be tackling a few projects I think will bring satisfaction in the long run (my guitar is reminding me I've been away too long, and some new shelves are needing my attention).  Most importantly, I want to use the time to really connect with the people I care about, rather than just "hanging out."

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We Bring Our Own Perspective

Two men look out through the same bars:
One sees the mud, and one the stars.

Rev. Frederick Langbridge
English poet and religious writer
(1849 - 1923)